Document:30 Billion Africans

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Thirty billion Africans now infected with HIV

by Marcel Girodian

New York Times News Service
10 June 2001

The number of Africans with the AIDS virus has skyrocketed again, according to the World Health Organization.

At a press conference in Johannesburg, WHO AIDS director Jacques LeFoote said the figure has now reached 30 billion, making the African AIDS epidemic by far the biggest plague ever to beset mankind. LeFoote also said that there were now 12 billion AIDS orphans in South Africa alone.

The press conference was marred by an unseemly incident, when a reporter for a Canadian alternative AIDS organization stepped out of line and started asking questions instead of taking dictation like the other reporters.

He asked LeFoote how there could be 30 billion HIV victims in Africa when there were only six billion people on the entire planet.

LeFoote responded, "That's the most racist, homophobic comment I ever heard." The reporter persisted, however, asking such impudent questions as how AIDS could be spread heterosexually in Africa when it's overwhelmingly homosexual in America and Europe.

LeFoote responded, "You're just proving that you're a racist with these questions. Black men have gigantic penises, didn't you know that? They're also insatiable and have sex five, ten, even 20 times a day. And they're much more likely to spread HIV vaginally because their huge penises are covered with open sores from syphilis and they like to have dry sex, which is a polite way of saying that they're rapists and take women against their will, including your sister if you're not careful. Now why don't you just take your racist ass back to Alabama and lynch some coons with your KKK buddies and let us do our job of saving the people of Africa."

When the reporter then asked why the WHO diagnoses AIDS in Africa without even giving an HIV test, LeFoote shouted "Enough!" With the assistance of a group of journalists (this reporter included, I'm happy to say), LeFoote wrapped his microphone wire around the wayward reporter's neck and hanged him from a light fixture until he was dead.

"That's one less racist in the world," LeFoote said.

© 2001 by Marcel Girodian