Document:Manu on Autogenocide
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26 June 2007
Nothing of what I say here is either exclusively mine or necessarily new. In fact many of these ideas I express here have always been in circulation. Many people of all walks of life have already said everything I say here before many times. I am just one more who agrees with them that the HIV = AIDS hypothesis is a lie and must be exposed. I believe we must do our part to ensure that.
Gay Pride is here again, and one cannot (no matter how hard one tries) get away form the daily ablutions and rituals over the weeks and months that lead up to this yearly festival that (supposedly) celebrates our freedom and sexuality. This year it’s Euro Pride in Spain, so the list of parties and events is more relentless that usual. The posters and publicity are up everywhere; from the streets to the bars, the gay and national press, where this week it’s all about “pride”.
On a personal level, bodies and minds are being prepared for this yearly festive ritual much in the same way bodies and minds are prepared for the White Party in Miami, or the Black Party in N.Y., or the Black & Blue Party in Montreal, or the August Matinee gay bash at Space in Ibiza. The mind is prepared by making sure we know who is going to be there, checking out every single profile for every person on “Gaydar” or “Bears” or “BigMuscle” who announces they will be there, and do the same as well, therefore marking your ground.
This week officially closes the grooming period that started round April, when the steroid, testosterone, growth-hormone, chemical sculpting (pill or injected), supplement based dieting, incessant training and even (in some cases) minor surgery rituals and interventions take place to prepare the body for the big show: Gay Pride.
I never really liked that word very much, as it has always had religious connotations for me. It reminds me of the story in the Bible, where Lucifer offends God, and is cast out of heaven into hell for his sin: Pride. I have never felt very comfortable with that equation, as it seems to tie the quest for justice and equality with “sin” against God. I never understood how to take pride from its biblical connotations to a newer and healthier understanding of who we are and what we pretend as a community or as individuals; like becoming some kind of “light-bearers” for humanity (if such a thing should even be tried), but we can all agree that has not been the case here.
Since that initial innocent and almost naïve decision to adopt the idea of “pride” as the springboard behind gay peoples' fight for equality, many things have changed. The HIV & AIDS catastrophe came along, and exposed us completely: our immaturity, ignorance, stupidity and vulnerability. Suddenly the parallel with the Lucifer story started to take on a more literal manifestation, when we found ourselves with the finger of "the wrath of God” pointing at us “homo-fornicators”. The most infuriating part of that idea being that God doesn’t seem to care about the drugs either.
Behind this terrified and very confused stupidity and fear we called pride, we were then led like zombies to become the “keepers of the key”, the “guardian-priests” to a new faith that holds a deadly doctrine or “dogma”. Its name is “The Church Of AIDS”, a new "death cult", based on fantastical theories and new scientific rules, a kind of “medical religion”, that places us all (willingly) on the sacrificial alter to a new God, a “virus-god” called: HIV Infection.
This crude but effective political “voodoo” was concocted and pushed on us for the economic and political profit it brought a few, and was blessed with the collective consent that came from the fear and shame it inspired, and the false comfort it gave us all of apparent unity behind one (totally false) belief; that a virus was the cause of all our ills, and that those heterosexuals who say otherwise are motivated by hate for humanity and “homophobia”, whilst the gay ones are guilty not just of those initial accusations, but of further more abstract and arbitrary ones like “heresy” and “high treason” by their own community as well. Can this get more ludicrous? Yes, it can.
Those who are gay and have the HIV positive label who speak out, will see how everyone around them withdraws communication, friends go silent and even loved ones question their mental sanity. The human support, or simple contact that was available is withdrawn, and it is made abundantly clear to you that it will be given back on one condition only: that you shut up, take your medication, and agree to die. Of course as most human beings by nature are cowards, they project all this through a hermetic silence broken only by short sharp suggestions of ever-pending-probable-illness. And this is only what you get form your friends and loved ones...
“Pride” to “Prejudice”
Through these events we were left clinging on to fear and banality instead of pride, so in order to hide our feelings of confusion and shame, we try desperately to avoid this horrible nightmare through out-of-control drug use and empty rituals and celebrations, that mask our inability to come to terms with our own self-hate, or what some have called: our “intrinsic death wish”.
The so called “gay-dream” has been turned into the rollercoaster ride to hell and back, it flings hundreds of thousands of bodies to their deaths, in order that some may make lots of money, or high-ride a political career. Does this sound delusional? I wish it were. You only have to look at the way gay AIDS Inc. and the gay media have used propaganda posing as safe sex ads to indoctrinate and entertain, but never ever to educate and inform. It is always deliberately designed to terrorize or delude people even more into staying on board the HIV = AIDS ride to hell. There also seems to be a very deliberate well-orchestrated need to keep people taking the vast quantities of drugs the HIV = AIDS rollercoaster needs to run. Drugs are the only real guarantee that people will eventually get sick, so I suppose that’s why they are actively encouraged through very specific round-the-clock events like huge parties, where drug use is 110% and treated by all as obligatory. There is a very small minority that does not indulge, true, but they are very small in numbers. The gay media deliberately tries to censure, hide or distort all information that points to the unquestionable, massive and endemic use of drugs, recreational and licit, that make up what we casually refer to as our lifestyle, as the most probable cause of us getting sick when we do, and not through any viral contagion. Why do they deliberately push this lie? For money, that’s why. The gay media is directly guilty of pushing and pimping gay men into this hellhole. They pushed poppers, AZT and everything else that is detrimental to the health of gay men for financial kickbacks from the pharmaceuticals, or anyone who want to use us like lab-rats to get rich, even if they kill us in the process. This is deliberate and it has been going on for nearly forty years now. So where’s the “homophobia”?
Until we face the true HIV = AIDS horror in all its aspects as a community, and recognise what it has permitted us to do to ourselves, and to each other, I don’t see what there is to celebrate or be proud of. So I’m sure that those of you who understand what I am talking about will forgive me if I do not put my harness on and take to the streets to show my pride anymore, so go ahead and enjoy the party without me...and don’t forget to thank God, or the editor of your “gay-rag” that you still have the virus to blame it all on, if and when you feel like shit, or get sick, when it’s back again to the retroviral chemotherapy, the Prozac, the Zopiclones, the bulimia-like eating (to make up for not eating for days), the antibiotics, anti-inflammatories and the analgesics, for the whole range of ailments and infections that stem from recreational drug use, not to even mention the problems that come from the kind of sex that “far-out” state tends to lead to – and I should know, I used to do it all! HIV must be the most “convenient” virus in the history of mankind; it suites everyone's need to live in denial so perfectly. In our case it permits us to ignore all these factors and blame “it” for all our ills for a solid quarter of a century at enormous human cost! How very convenient!
I ask: How much longer can this outrageous state of affairs go unchallenged by the entire gay community? We have gone from pride to fear to fools to banal, we have been kicked up into the air and landed back on our butts on a stage dressed like clowns, we are part of a show that grows daily more grotesque and obscene. Where is this going from here?
Until our community addresses these questions seriously, our so-called “Gay Pride” fiesta is nothing more than the “official” event celebrating our delusional-chemically-induced-relentless-drive towards “Auto-Genocide”.
© 2007 by Manu
Originally published at This&That